he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
