there's paper in my vomit.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
