dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
