her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
