Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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