Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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