This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
