It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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