But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
