the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
