I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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