Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
FUCK WHALES
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
