what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
