i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
