what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
