If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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