did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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