i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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