Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
