I hate all girls vehemently.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
