very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I party with great urgency now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
