She announced her abortion via fbk
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
