she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
