I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
