Already got asked if we're dating
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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