YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
