babies were throwing up all over the place
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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