Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
