How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
