can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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