Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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