You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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