Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
