I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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