Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
