What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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