Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
