So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize