Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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