ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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