and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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