The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
