he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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