I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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