i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
