I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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