You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
