his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
