Can i not drive my cunt home
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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