She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This baby is an asshole
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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