He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
