Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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