is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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