i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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