I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dignity is for republicans.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
