Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
