erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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